Not So Proper

Write Things Down: Nice Guys Aren't: Why You're the Asshole and She's Only Your Friend

I’ve seen this on my dash a couple times, so I’m just going to come out and say it. She’s a bitch.

If she knows you well enough to share her deepest secrets, she’s perfectly capable of hearing yours. Even if it’s about her. If this makes her uncomfortable, then it’s too bad that she is being selfish and not allowing you the same outlet for feelings that you give her.

I’m not saying that she should date you…it’s probably better in most cases that it won’t work out that way. But if she thinks that you’re an asshole for opening up to her, then she’s a bitch for opening up to you. And you certainly can’t trust her advice, because according to this article it’s apparently intended to drive you away, not to help.

Why can’t both people just be honest without it ending in all these shenanigans? Why can’t the girl just say no and move on? If the guy changes after she turns him down then yes, he’s an asshole. But he’s not an asshole for having feelings for her and saying so.

You know who the real asshole is? It’s the author. In his own (gender-modified) words,

“Do you even know this [guy]? You have no idea how [he] is romantically and you only have one side of the story. You’re in love with your own imagination.”

He’s taken his own view, his one side of the story, and transposed it onto every guy out there, generalized all guys who don’t go to clubs and play the game as assholes. I’d rather be myself and stay single forever than to ask out girl after girl until one says yes, then settle for her.

I will remain a nice guy, even if I sometimes have to be an asshole about it.

tofferscraps:

You say you’re a nice guy. You respect women and would never cheat. You would never talk to a girl the way most other guys do. You’re special. That guy that any girl would be lucky to have. Yet, no girl seems to want you. That’s a little odd. Girls should like you. I bet you have a special someone…

So, let’s take this one thing at a time.

If she knows you well enough to share her deepest secrets, she’s perfectly capable of hearing yours. Even if it’s about her. If this makes her uncomfortable, then it’s too bad that she is being selfish and not allowing you the same outlet for feelings that you give her.

This sounds very logical, but if you read my article/essay/rant/whatever you would understand that if you like a girl and you let her think you’re just interested in her as a friend while she tells you this stuff, then you my friend are an asshole. No questions ask. Letting someone confide in you with the false security that you are a friend, and just a friend with no agenda makes you an asshole.

I’m not saying that she should date you…it’s probably better in most cases that it won’t work out that way. But if she thinks that you’re an asshole for opening up to her, then she’s a bitch for opening up to you. And you certainly can’t trust her advice, because according to this article it’s apparently intended to drive you away, not to help.

She opened up to you because she thought you were a friend. You opened up to her after rules were set for the relationship between you two. Again, that’s an asshole thing to do.

Why can’t both people just be honest without it ending in all these shenanigans? Why can’t the girl just say no and move on? If the guy changes after she turns him down then yes, he’s an asshole. But he’s not an asshole for having feelings for her and saying so.

Because she put trust into someone that had more than just her wellbeing in mind asshole.

You know who the real asshole is? It’s the author. In his own (gender-modified) words,

Yes, I am an asshole for being up front and honest with girls about my intentions. I’m an asshole for being really honest with people and setting clear lines for our relationships and sticking to them. That said, I’m less of an asshole than the typical “nice guy”.

He’s taken his own view, his one side of the story, and transposed it onto every guy out there, generalized all guys who don’t go to clubs and play the game as assholes. I’d rather be myself and stay single forever than to ask out girl after girl until one says yes, then settle for her.

I’ve never been to a club in my life. That doesn’t matter though. What matters is that you misread some stuff. No where in the piece does is say that you should go to clubs or ask out girls until one says yes. It does say move on to the next one, not the next twelve. The next one as in the next one that catches your interest. I’m sorry if this wasn’t clear. I didn’t think anyone would take it that way. I was thought to write as if the reader was smarter than myself.